That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
