You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
