okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
