I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize