Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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