I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
