i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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