Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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