this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
