Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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