I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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