It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
