My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
