I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
