I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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