Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
