hotel room ftw
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
