i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
