every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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