SEEEEXXX PLEASE
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
