I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So much rum. So many feels.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
