He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
