so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
