Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
