Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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