quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
