omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
whose parrot is this?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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