I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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