So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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