I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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