i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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