Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My bed smells like the plague
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