last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
