Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
