It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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