This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The best revenge is premature balding
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
