this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
