I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
