I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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