Dual....:-)
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize