why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
