I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
