I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
