the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
