Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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