i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
