I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
