Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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