i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
