I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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