She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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