I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
