Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
