my mouth tastes like poor choices
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
