look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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