her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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