some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
