She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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