woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
