to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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