hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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