sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
