We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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