we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
